What if Led Zepplin decided to collaborate on a record with Earth, Wind and Fire, then decided to have the GZA produce a few slumpers for the clubs? Then you would have The Heavy’s Great Vengeance and Furious Fire. Strapping blue notes, screaming low fi, and slutty lyrics, what a sick band! Wow. “Colleen” needs to be played center stage at your local strip club, mortgage payments would be thrown across the room like horse shoes. These boys from Noid, a small town in South West U.K. can even make sipping tea sound dirty, no seriously, they can, and they do. Not only are tracks like “Colleen”, “In the Morning”, and “That Kind of Man” killer party jams, this band has fucking soul. “Set Me Free” should be the theme song for the next Shaft remake. There is not one bad song on the entire album, and I give it about three weeks before one of these songs is on the next Levi’s commercial. Don’t say this very often folks, but if you don’t get this off the iTunes for the five bucks that they are asking right now, you should use that money to buy a bullet and shoot yourself, they are straight dick* man.*Thanks for the new slang Tater.
11 Comments:
No doubt hombre, this album is awesome! Straight dick, no cuddle. Did you check the video out on their website (http://www.theheavy.co.uk/)? Also awesome... party in the crime van.
Great review.
"These boys (and a lady) from Noid..."
Just wanted to point out that there is a sexy female in the band as well.
I didn't know there was a chick man, I haven't even seen what they look like. They were in S.F on Sat night, pissed that I missed em. We need to go to a show again, soon.
Yeah man. With finals over next week the time for show hopping will be upon us. If you still can, grab tickets to these shows (I already have my tickets; however, they are during the week, so I don't know how that works for you):
Pela
May 28 2008 - 10:00P
BOTTOM OF THE HILL - San Francisco
Islands
Jun 16 2008 - 8:00P
Bimbo’s 365 - San Fransisco
Oh man, even though I know that I would totally hate this music, your review makes me desperately want to love it. The phrase “screaming low fi,” to me, is like caraway seeds and licorice – all the cool kids dig it, but they trigger my gag reflex and make me die a little inside. And yet, I’d definitely drop $5 bucks on The Heavy just to watch Awmercy dance around the apartment slutty style.
"'Colleen' needs to be played center stage at your local strip club, mortgage payments would be thrown across the room like horse shoes"
ummm... best sentence ever?
Not a fan of AAC, but got it off Amazon for the same price. Sweetness. Let the erotical dancing begin!
There's nothing heavy about this record. I downloaded this on my boyfriend's computer - sort of like a love letter from me to him...
straight dick is catching on and i'm excited/frightened.
nice review, i check it out.
I just heard Colleen at the end of Mad Money on my flight to California. Thinking about blowing mortgage payments on strippers was so much better than that movie. It made me smile for at least 20 minutes.
this band is awesome, thanks for such a tip!
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